At Delhi

I cleared UPSC prelims and wrote mains.
How was my mains performance?
General Studies Paper 1 : O.K - 8/10
GS Paper 2: Bad - 5/10
Essay : Goooood! 9/10
English & Telugu: (Its only qualifying in nature) so okay.. I will clear
Public Administration paper1 - I dunno! If I were to correct my paper, I would give 7/10
PA Paper 2 - Same as above 6.5/10
Geo Paper1 - Surprise! World map is given, the examiner is wicked! apart from that it was fine 8/10
Geo Paper 2 - I couldn't do well in map pointing.. otherwise it was okay! 8/10
On the whole, not a bad performance considering its my first attempt.
Im in net center, feels like a Lion is left in a vegetable market and asked to choose whatever she wants for dinner! No net here! I never imagined that someday I would come to net center, pay 15/min to write a blog! Ofcourse I m gonna browse for sometime to prepare for interview...
That means I'm expecting interview call. Hope for the best! Prepare for the worst..
So, Im anyway preparing for next attempt..
Todays Topic: How do oil bonds work? "Lemme check"!
Luv,
Lays

TRUE BABE

I met this gal in classes...
But got to know about her today.. she worked in fields, her mom works in Dubai as a maid,
her father doesn't live with them, she lived all her life alone in some or the other hostel! Never had an opportunity to go home after completing exams or when some results are out!
She studied while working as a wage-earner, she made into APRJC residential school, then she went to inter college by earning scholarship, then she completed B.Sc in Agriculture at ANGRAU and she made a job "Assistant Project director" for NREGA. Now she took leave and she is preparing for civils, she cleared prelims without any coaching! That makes me call her true babe!
I need to learn a lot from her!

Success doesn't need comfort. A burning desire is what makes you succeed!

UPSC Prelim result

I cleared :)
I wrote this exam in May and clearing prelims in first attempt is something cool!
Good reason to be happy! Im excited! But my responsibility also increased now... Need to prepare for mains seriously...
Thats in Oct this year.. I already wasted sometime after prelims, something every senior warns you not to do... Yet I did it!
Guess its difficult to follow :(
Now I am feeling happy/sad :) Anyway I'll try my best to utilize these 2 months. :)
First thing first... I did it in first attempt! wowwww!!!!! :D
congratss dear me!

Luv,
Lays

Group I mains

Done with mains...

Prepared for : zuk days before exams
Performance: I think I'm not bad, but examiner may think otherwise
Expectation: At least I deserve last job in the hierarchy :D

(Surprisingly I got first job in the hierarchy! Deputy Collector - June 2009)

Have been ignoring this exam all the time coz of UPSC mains classes.
But on dad's insistence and my second thoughts I took that hall ticket to mains reluctantly.
I got through prelims, so its a chance you should not let go...
Finally the day before exams I bought 3 books - AP History, Economy, Sci &Tech
and started my preparation the same day!

General English: very sac.. If you dont perform well in this paper, you better quit preparing for civils!
General Essay: Managed to guess all the topics few hours before exam n discussed with dad and I could do well.

Then started troubles! Heavy rains in Hyd, the next day for History & polity exam, caught in traffic I almost missed the test. If not for my dad's presence of mind, I would not have gone to exam center in time. We got down the car and almost swam in the flood waters to cross all those strangled vehicles, we ran, we crossed small n big streams, we crossed the road twice n decided that its better to walk on divider... finally we reached Ameerpet and took an auto to exam center.
To my surprise I was only 5 min late.

Exam went well. I know most of questions, I wrote longer answers for the questions I dont know! :P

Group 1 papers were very lengthy. Time was the biggest constraint.

So my strategy: "Write few lines. stop for a second. Think if it makes any sense. Go ahead anyway!" (Fortunately, what I was writing was making sense to me most of the time).

I should say, all my UPSC preparation helped me write these papers. After completing mains I just forgot about this exam..

Let APPSC comment on my performance!

Progress

Its been really long...

My GS - General Studies classes also have started. So full time tightly packed - morning 6:30 to 11:00 and evening 5:30 to 8:00.., 2 hrs for commuting So whats left? Now I understand what Geography sir meant when he said "Quality of life deteriorates when there is no time for social interaction". Although I'm having great interaction in classes...

In GS, Classes on India and World are going on. I like them a lot. By listening for few hours everyday I'm getting to know so many politics between all these nations....USA, China, Japan, Russia...

Coming to progress... I'm really not studying properly... have become very lazy these days..
except attending classes I'm not doing anything...

update

Update:

Day 1: Classes started. Attended first class and felt that Geography (Geo) and Public Administration (PA) lectures are good.

Day 2: Felt that PA is boring coz he is repeating same thing again n again. N Geo has too many reference books to study! He named nearly 10 - 15 books!! n My heart failed. I was slightly scared.

Day 3: PA is interesting! coz he solved questions n dint explain concepts much! Geo was O.K.
He started with settlement geography, not very interesting. It talks about sizes and shapes of villages. Dunno whats the use!

Day4: PA was boring. He explained another concept and slightly deviated from topic. Geo - he was faster than before. They say he is gonna go like Rajdhani express and very few people would be following after some days. I hope I'd one among them.


My confidence level:

Lets invent a new unit of measurement CL - confidence level. Scale ranges from 1 to 10.
Another scale to measure Effort Level - EL with same range 1 to 10.

CPLA - Cumulative Preparation Level Assessment = Average of CL and EL

Sometimes you prepare well yet your confidence level would be low. Sometimes you dont study well yet your confidence level would be high!

so where am I now?

Current rating: CL - 5 EL - 3 => CPL = 4. Remarks : BAD

There is lot of scope to improve. I'm gonna improve my ranking.

A new source of inspiration

We meet so many people in life. With some, even if we spend very few minutes, we get inspired. But few others, though we spend months and years together, make little or no impact.

Recently I met a very special person, very successful in life, tremendous source of inspiration, yet so humble and friendly.
Normally I could not even have thought of talking to him directly. But he is my father's friend's friend :) (I usually meet great people through this route!). That made him my dad's friend.
He is Mr.Satyanarayana, commercial tax D.C i.e, Deputy commissioner for AP. He had been in IPS for 2 years, then he wrote APPSC group I and he is working as Commercial tax DC now. I went to him for guidance for my UPSC exams. First time when we met, he said "you have taken a very brave step" and after listening to why I quit my job he was very happy. He said "you must have single focussed approach. Usually people have 2 problems at this stage to sit at home and prepare for this exam. One monetary, the other matrimonial. I'm sure you don't have both. So be focussed and just prepare and there's nothing that stops you." I got very enthused.

Then he spoke about his ideas and his hobbies to my father. He has so many ideas. Usually we see people with many aims at early age and soon they die out as they settle in life. They sail with the wind and they are just complacent with whatever they have/do in life or they think that they cant do anything to change the society. But he is so determined and clear in his aim, no wonder that he has been inspiration to hundreds of students. He has started an organization to send a message to people. That everyone should utilize all their abilities to be the best they can.
And after becoming successful, it is each one's duty to give it back to the society. This quality according to him, is not prevalent in Indians. Bill Gates after becoming richest person in the world, donated nearly half of his wealth to Gates and Melinda foundation to help poor and needy all over the world. There is a branch in Mahboobnagar dt of AP too. But multi millionaires in India never did such a thing. From top to bottom its hard to find this quality in Indians. He says we cant change old now. Its youth who has to instill this and carry it. So he started this organization to train youth in required skills to become successful in first place and then reach out for the society later. What a meaningful way to live! He also wrote a book on personality development(PD) in Telugu. There's no dearth for such books in English though many do not utilize them. e.g. Robin Sharma's "The monk who sold his Ferrari" or Shiv Khera's "You can win" or Dale Carnegie's writings. But its hard to find such writings in telugu. Again Im impressed by the way he is trying not to impress but express! Any other person would have written it in English. But he wants to inform those who have scanty resources. He based his book on "Ashtanga marga" i.e, "Eight-fold path" propounded by Buddha. Usually PD mentors take it all from western research scholars because that is where this subject has been recognized and worked upon.
But this approach may seem alien to us. So he made it so dear to us by relating it to Buddha's preachings. Its title - 'Ashtanga Margam tho Vyaktitva vikasam'.

Again we met in another PD workshop. He suggested me to attend that. This time his personality had greater impact on me. He is a highly accomplished person, he even wrote a book on PD, yet he was there, sitting very humbly with not even slightest indication that he knows it all. 'Why should I even leave my work and attend that seminar?' I guess anybody else would have thought so. He looks so simple that no one believes that he is a D.C (if you go by the impression we get through our movies). He came with a book and pen like a student. We were early and he introduced us to the speaker there. After introducing my father, he said about me very happily. That I got the passion for IAS, that I quit my software job and came here. I cant forget the way he was expressing his pleasure with my decision. Big people dont do that! they dont care! But he is different. Class started and I couldn't stop myself from observing him. I usually sit with my legs crossed if I have to sit for a long time. Even his posture shows that humility. He sat upright with two feet on floor. I immediately changed my posture. I'm telling this to convey how inspired I was and how much I was trying to emulate/imitate him even in such minute aspects.

I started thinking about why we are not reaching out for society. Why we don't give it back!
This may be because we were poor all the time and are very apprehensive about parting with some of the wealth we accumulated. But if you think properly it is only the right thing to do. Many people live and die. Their birth doesn't make the slightest difference to anyone. But very few live for few years and they still inspire us in every possible way. Life becomes meaningful only when we remain in the hearts of people even after death. Life does not become meaningful by earning money, leading lavish life and dying someday with no memories left on the Earth except the pollution we created or resources we consumed. But to give it we gotta have it! so Lets work from today to earn it with a target to give it back!

Signing off..
LEO

P.S. In his book he wrote about time management and gave some valuable tips. I would love to share them with you. I'll soon find time and do that. till then.. Keep pondering :)

My news socks :D

These are ma new socks :))
I love them so much
coz they have five toes, they are soft, they are cute, they match my shoes
n above all they are pink :))
cheers to my new socks...

Does its sound too childish?
You know what?! Thinking matured always is not so good for health!! :)

c ya
Leo

Monsoon - When I turn a lil poetic :)

I spend whole summer waiting for monsoons. It comes year after year with same vigor and I never get bored. Laden with love, it fills me with joy.

When the cool breeze gently touches my face it feels.. oh... awesome!
As if it is sharing its secrets with me it whispers in my ear,
dancing with my hair, kissing my cheeks gently.. oh its awesome!
It refreshes me so much that I wish it was with me everyday in the year!

I feel it is a wonder and the only way I can connect with nature sitting in my room ..

In today's busy life I have no time to go to a beach, spend an evening walking along the shore
while waves touch my feet, just getting lost in the ocean's wonders...thinking nothing.

In today's polluted life I cant lie down in the open field, looking at the bare sky wondering how many more stars are hidden there..

In today's city life, I miss beautiful forest, with colorful butterflies - hundreds of them, whispering secrets to tenders flowers,

I miss those beautiful streams with clear water rippling, making a symphony with the birds singing..

But one thing this life has not taken away from me yet is magic of monsoon. Now that we read about global warming everyday and feel its fury in every aspect of life, I'm scared that some day I'll be deprived of this too.

Monsoon means different things to different people. It means the whole life support for farmers. It may mean flooded roads for mumbaikars, or traffic jams for hyderabadis. In spite of all this, it means more joy for me. None can deny the fact that Indian agriculture completely depends on monsoons. Without it, we have no food. So lets work together to save the environment, save ourselves!

signing off

Awesome lyrics

What is this new noise(voice) that gets all my attention? Its shaky, its feels as though the singer standing in cold water lake at 4 in the morning while singing. But somehow I am not able to avoid him. I guess there's magic in his voice and his lyrics. He looks cute too. :) and thats Atif Aslam for you.

Have you heard his song Kuch is tarah from 'Doorie'? If you haven't it's here. Lyrics are just awesome.

My Best phrases

Jo bhi gham hain yeh tere unhein tu mera pataa de

Mujhko toh tere chehre pe yeh ghum nahin janchta
Jaayiz nahin lagta mujhe ghum se tera rishta
Sun meri ghuzarish ise chehre se hataa se
Sun meri ghuzarish ise chehre se hataa se

I'm lovin it. I have more such favorite lyrics. I'll post them as I find time. Now I need to go :)

Diary

I used to write diary in school. I was in hostel right from my 6th class till the time I completed my graduation barring 9th and 10th classes. In my school diary every page starts with "Today I woke up at.... "
and ends with "Good night". In between I write what I felt when I saw a limping puppy or a colorful butterfly. In college I stopped writing when I got up or when I slept. Some more important things like what happened in the exam or how much I studied that day or happenings in the campus. In school I never wrote anything about altercations I had with friends.
Reasons:
1. I thought its unnecessary coz they are best when forgotten. Writing it in diary would never let you forget.
2. Anybody can read my diary though its considered immoral! If this happens when your are actually fine with that friend, u know how things would take a turn!

But when I am in college, I broke this rule as I broke many others and wrote everything that was on my mind. Once I couldn't hide the hatred for a friend who stopped talking to me some months ago and I wrote everything clearly except her name. I wrote how unreasonable she was to stop talking to me.
To my surprise she was trying to get back together and read the whole episode patiently.
Later she asked me if that was about her! Thats when I realized that my old habit is good.

My Lesson: Its good to share your happy moments and keep a record of it but its better to just forget your bitter memories as soon as you get over! I feel carrying them forward is not a wise thing to do.

Why am I reiterating this NOW? Ya you are right! I am sad about something but I want to forget it! I cant write it here, its against the rules! I believe in 'TIME's healing powers. I'll wait and let it do its business.

Okay! now I should get back to my Indian physical geography..

see you soon!

I just cant think anymore!

I am tired I am tired I am tired....
Someday I might feel this.
That day I'll rest.
But its not today
Today I work!

Mains preparation

Now I started thinking about where to join for mains coaching. For prelims I had only one option and I just dint have to think. Now that I am free whole day I have many options.

First Decision - 2nd optional Geography or Sociology??
I always had Sociology on my mind because it talk about people, caste, family, equality. Easy to understand. But for civils presentation is more important. Geography first paper felt more to the point. There is no coaching for Socio in Hyd. I have to go to Delhi in that case. Then I saw Geography papers and I felt that these are better because understanding and remembering these things would be enough to answer at least first paper. I spoke to a director fro counselling after that. I knew what he would say. Anyway I went and he said what I expected. " You science people can learn Sociology in 3 months but learning how to answer questions in the exam takes more than 2 years. On the contrary you might take 6 to 7 months to learn Geography but you can pick up writing in one month". So he suggests Geography. Anyway I dint stop my research there. I bought a Geography guide and went through few areas. They were similar to what I read for prelims GS from TMH guide. I found it interesting too. Learning sciences is always interesting for me. I thought I know more about Geography than about Sociology. If I like sociology I can read it after getting job. Its not good to take chance now! :) Thats how I zeroed on Geography as second optional.

Second Decision - Delhi or Hyderabad -
I spoke to some friends studying in Vajiram Delhi and realized that they do not offer regular course before GS mains. Its only a crash course and just for 1 month before the test. Regular course starts in Oct and thats for next attempt. I am not sure about preparing on my own. I inquired about accommodation. I dont like the idea of sharing a room with someone and taking responsibility of each and everything for maintaining that room. What if we do not gel well? I have enough problems already and I cant afford to create one more. I cant stay alone because I get scared when Iam alone. I imagine things and scare myself! :). So hiring a room is no option of mine. Some friend told me about a good hostel there and this gave a new impetus but this is far from a place where mains GS regular coaching is available. Suddenly I though why I am I going to Delhi when I cant attend Vajiram at all. Hyderabad is also giving results though they are not as good as Delhi. So I decided to go to Delhi in Oct to prepare for next attempt! What a looser I'm! anyway its always better to be prepared for anything!

Third Decision - R.C.Reddy or BRAINTREE or ISO IAS?
I did a pretty good investigation about these coaching centers but I did not find those seniors who know about all three coaching centers and can suggest which one is better. Finally I thought I should rely upon myself and not on coaching center. If I believe in my abilities and work hard every coaching center would almost be the same! How much time I took to realize this?! 10 days! Anyway I decided to join R.C.Reddy for all the subjects and classes will start in the next week. I hope I'd shed this habit of thinking too much and wasting time soon.

Finally I am here with all set to start mains preparation. I just have to start preparing like never before.
Anyway, why am I writing everything here?? So that I dont blame myself later - for not going to Delhi or for not taking Sociology..Because I dont want to feel bad about any decision I made. Because I want to know exactly why I decided this and I would know that its my decision and not anyone else's.

UPSC Prelims

1 more month passed since I wrote APPSC prelims and my UPSC prelims day came. May 18th, my brother came home from IIT and whole family started for the exam center. We reached the center half an hour before. I was not tensed and was feeling very confident. This was the first time I had this strange feeling before exam. I was not doing anything except smiling and thanking everyone who wished me before exams. Some last-minute calls from my uncle and cousins from home kept me busy till we were allowed inside the class rooms. First paper was Public Administration, at 9:00 in the morning. I felt I performed well. Came back home to have lunch. Tried to get some sleep for 5 min on my dad's insistence. But my thoughts wouldn't let me relax. Anyway I got up sooner than dad set time and mom fed me some food.I went through some current affairs papers before appearing for next exam GS. Again dad, nike and I started for the test. I was anxious this time. GS paper was really tough and I yielded. Usually if I find questions from 1-10 tough, I start from Q no 50 and come back to Q1 later. But with this paper, wherever I start I'm finding it difficult. I lost the grip and finally decided to do some arithmetic to regain confidence. Anxiety spoiled everything and I screwed it totally. Either I wouldn't pay attention to what was being asked or I'd mark something wrong in hurry. Time was running out and I still had many Qs remaining. Though there was penalty for wrong answers I'd go ahead and mark if some answer seems correct to me. This really caused more damage to me as I later realized on checking the key. I verified answers based on key sent by Braintree and realized that penalty marks proved to be more disastrous. Had there been no negative mark, my total was pretty good. I hate ifs and buts. I did not do it well and that was completely my fault. I felt bad but soon realized that theres no point in feeling bad about what happened. I relaxed a bit too long! :) Since prelims test I haven't studied anything concrete till today except Hindu news!

APPSC Group-1 preliminary

I wrote APPSC Group-I preliminary while preparing for UPSC civils. It was held on April 20th, a month before my UPSC prelims. It is a state civil service test conducted by Andhra Pradesh Public service commission. Just a day before test, I sat with whatever group-I material I could lay my hands on and prepared with my dad. Tried to learn about AP history, geography, AP writers, AP freedom fighters, AP budget, everything regarding AP with dad in one day. He kept telling about so many leaders from our state. I listened to him passively, at time sleeping, at times dozing off. Anyway I skimmed through all that material I chose to go through before the test. When I went to the test the next day, to my pleasant surprise, nothing much was asked about AP. Everything was general (about India) which I have been preparing for sometime. I wrote it well, checked the key next day. Based on others vague estimations, I felt I might get it since I got good - cut-off (est) + 20. Results came on May 26th and I was happy I got through! this was the first exam in the pursuit of civils and I was happy to be successful though this is only the tip of ice burg. I need to write mains and then interview n thats not just for APPSC but also for UPSC.

My Career!

Civils

2 years ago, fresh out of BITS-pilani with the best job(I can hope for) in my hand, I was just thinking "Someday I'd write civils and make it big, but its not today. Today I work!".

I had worked for 1 and a half year at Juno online services as a Member-Technical. I was happy first time in my life for that was no rat race like competition, no pressure, each one works in her own pace given that work is done in time, you get rewards every now and then.Whatever it is, it is cool. No need to do last minute preparation, no need to come back home and think about your mistakes in the exam and above all no need to compare your marks with top-ranker and feel you are a looser! But work life is over.Soon I started thinking about my future and I could not imagine myself working for a software company forever. You get lot of money but you are just one among many. You dont have time to think about poverty, hunger. Even if you happen to think about it, you cant do anything substantial to change it. That was when I started browsing for information regarding UPSC civil service exam.

1 year ago, still at Juno, I thought "Its already late, I should have started earlier", I bought some NCERT books on a senior's advice and started reading them. But night conference calls with US team Managers during project design phase made it difficult for me to study regularly. I planned to go to Delhi as many people said thats the best place to prepare for civils. For that I had to quit my job and I was not ready yet. I sat with dad and thought about it, we decided its better to work until I am very confident about succeeding in the exam.
Studying while working was not going well. After talking to some friends, I decided to attend coaching so that I study in the right direction. I went to Braintree. Braintree coz I was still working and this was the only coaching center that offered weekend classes. I worked 7 days a week. Attended classes every sat and sun, initially even without having lunch. Later I took my lunch box and whole weekend I spent attending classes. There was no time to read material and soon it dawned on me that its high time that I quit my job and prepared well.

Soon I found myself thinking of resignation. I spoke with my PL(Project leader) in October and he was not happy with my decision. Anyway I took leave for 1 month in November to see how it feels like studying at home whole day. I completed substantial amount of syllabus and I was feeling lot better. I wanted to quit my job as soon as possible and concentrate completely on civils. I submitted my resignation letter in December, thats the day I joined after my 1 month leave. They relieved me in January. Now I'm here preparing for exams at home!

signing off..