UPSC Prelims

1 more month passed since I wrote APPSC prelims and my UPSC prelims day came. May 18th, my brother came home from IIT and whole family started for the exam center. We reached the center half an hour before. I was not tensed and was feeling very confident. This was the first time I had this strange feeling before exam. I was not doing anything except smiling and thanking everyone who wished me before exams. Some last-minute calls from my uncle and cousins from home kept me busy till we were allowed inside the class rooms. First paper was Public Administration, at 9:00 in the morning. I felt I performed well. Came back home to have lunch. Tried to get some sleep for 5 min on my dad's insistence. But my thoughts wouldn't let me relax. Anyway I got up sooner than dad set time and mom fed me some food.I went through some current affairs papers before appearing for next exam GS. Again dad, nike and I started for the test. I was anxious this time. GS paper was really tough and I yielded. Usually if I find questions from 1-10 tough, I start from Q no 50 and come back to Q1 later. But with this paper, wherever I start I'm finding it difficult. I lost the grip and finally decided to do some arithmetic to regain confidence. Anxiety spoiled everything and I screwed it totally. Either I wouldn't pay attention to what was being asked or I'd mark something wrong in hurry. Time was running out and I still had many Qs remaining. Though there was penalty for wrong answers I'd go ahead and mark if some answer seems correct to me. This really caused more damage to me as I later realized on checking the key. I verified answers based on key sent by Braintree and realized that penalty marks proved to be more disastrous. Had there been no negative mark, my total was pretty good. I hate ifs and buts. I did not do it well and that was completely my fault. I felt bad but soon realized that theres no point in feeling bad about what happened. I relaxed a bit too long! :) Since prelims test I haven't studied anything concrete till today except Hindu news!